2.25.2015

Letter to Sons : The Best is not always right


Dearest Son


I am sorry

As your Daddy , I had always wanted the best for both of you. I guess it is an inherent trait in most parents of wanting the best of our children. However in the course of searching for the 'Best of everything', I had forgotten that what I percieved to be Best may not be right for you.
I realized my folly recently when I had enrolled the elder of you into a new Chinese Enrichment class. Since you are entering P2 and the Chinese standards had far surpassed my mediocre language skills, external help is deem as necessary.

The intent is good but the execution is flawed.

You are already in an enrichment class you are comfortable in for the past few years. To me, that is the reason why I wanted the switch as the other enrichment class is perceived to be of a higher standard. I am bought up the old school way, where I believe in order to excel, we must always aim higher. I always think that we are like rubber bands and we need to stretch in order to discover our potential.

Somehow I might have stretched too hard and broke the rubber band.

It had been a long time since I last saw you teared over a class. It was almost 4 years since you decided that going to classes was not a painful experience anymore. These days you attend enrichment classes without fuss. It is not easy in today's world, especially when you have to cope with your own schoolwork. However you attended these enrichment classes religiously and had even proclaimed that Chinese is your favourite subject...even though you hardly spoken a word of it at home!

Yet that one class that we send you too might have the potential to change your view.

I remembered on that day you walked into class without any protest, however by the time I picked you up, it was a different face that greeted me. It hurts me to see you upset. When we got home, I looked at what you did in class and it was unrecognizable. This is not P2 work, but it looked as though it came from the textbook of higher primary standard. You were upset not because you could not understand but because you could not keep up. I might have set standards for you, but you have already set higher standards on your own. From our daily revision, you have shown you are willing to learn and will work at getting it right. Thus the class must really be difficult to comprehend for you to break down.

Sometimes it is BEST to let nature takes its course.

The episode happened a few weeks ago. You continued to attend your current class confidently and happily. In fact, it makes me proud for you to have scored perfect marks for your most recent spelling and diction test. I am glad I had taken the decision to stop the new class.
From this I learn a few lessons... Daddy is not always right, life is not all about being in the best of everything and it does not harm a child to learn at his own pace.

Thank you for teaching me that best way is not always right way.

Love
Daddy



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