Mental Health Advice When Going Through a Divorce
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It’s a difficult decision for you, it’s a challenge for your spouse,
and it’s even more of an obstacle for any of your children. It often takes a
while to fully understand the situation and it’s something you won’t always get
over.
With that said, it’s often the right decision
for you and your family -- no matter how wrong it might feel. After all,
there’s a reason why you married your spouse and there’s a reason you spent so
much time together. Unfortunately, not all things are meant to be and things
change with time.
While going through a divorce isn’t easy, it’s
often necessary. You must be prepared to feel a world of emotions during this
difficult time. Even more important, you need to learn how to embrace those
emotions and eventually move past those emotions. A better life awaits.
So, what are the emotional stages of a divorce?
Most divorced couples are bound to experience
a slew of emotions while going through a divorce. These emotions come and go as
they please and they’re usually conflicting with each other, which can make it
extremely hard to recognize, cope with, and eventually move past.
Let’s take a look at the six major emotional
stages of a divorce, that way you can understand and prepare for what you’re
about to feel:
●
Denial - not wanting to accept the fact that
your marriage is over. This emotion is often met with the belief that there’s a
way to win back your partner.
●
Shock - acting in a way that’s out of the
normal for you. Going through a divorce can cause a sense of shock and panic
when you start to realize it's over.
●
Contrasting Emotions - the constant whirlwind
of emotions that you feel when going through a divorce as you attempt to make
sense of everything.
●
Bargaining - further delaying the reality,
this stage consists of doing whatever you can do to change yourself in hopes of
one day winning back your partner.
●
Letting Go - in this stage, you’re finally
starting to see things for what they are. Instead of trying to win your partner
back, you finally start to move on and let go.
●
Acceptance - the understanding that this isn’t
the end of your life, but rather the start of a new one. The negative emotions
stop and you enter a period of growth.
At the end of the day, each individual’s goal
is to come out of this divorce a better, stronger, and happier person. It’s
important to realize that divorce isn’t the end of the world for either party.
Instead, it’s a chance at finding a new happiness and life satisfaction that
wasn’t there before.
Mental Health Tips When Coping With a Divorce
Coping with the harsh reality of divorce
extremely difficult, no matter who you are or how long you’ve been with your
partner. For some people, it won’t take long for them to work through the six
emotional stages. For others, it might take years before they finally accept it
for what it is.
If you’re having a hard time working through
the many emotions you’re feeling right now, you’re not alone. While there are
millions of marriages every single year, there are also nearly 750,000 divorces
each year -- that’s nearly 2,000 divorces every single day of the week.
For those that need extra help coping with the
situation, we’re going to detail five of our most prominent tips when working
your way through a divorce.
1. Don’t Rid Yourself of Each Emotion
Earlier in this article, we discussed the six emotional stages that most people experience when coping with a divorce. While it’s best to not get stuck in any one emotion for a long period of time -- except for the final stage -- it’s important that you allow yourself a chance to feel them all.
Don’t rid yourself of any one emotion because that emotion is vital to eventually accepting the reality and moving past it. It’s okay to feel angry, sad, hope, frustrated, confused, anxiety, fear, relief, joy, freedom, etc. It’s a constant whirlwind of emotions, but you’ll eventually get through it.
2. Take Care of Your Physical Self
When most people enter a divorce, they’re overcome by emotional pain and mental strain. This causes many people to work on their mental and emotional health -- which is good -- but you can’t forget about your physical health. Many times, the three work alongside one another.
That means making sure you’re eating well,
maintaining a regular exercise routine, ensuring you get plenty of sleep each
night, giving yourself some time to meditate, and being mindful of what’s
happening around you. Maintaining physical health is just as important as
anything else.
3. Use This Time to Work On Yourself
It’s very hard to accept the fact that you and your partner are no longer together -- especially if you treated them as one of the pieces to the puzzle we call ‘life.’ Being apart from them might feel awkward and wrong, but understand that this is the perfect opportunity to work on yourself.
No one is perfect and that includes yourself. Don’t be scared to take a deep look inside yourself to see how you can improve your own well-being. Especially if you plan on one day finding another partner, you should first give yourself a chance to work out any kinks in your own life.
4. Turn to Your Trusted Support Group
Everyone deserves to have a trustworthy and reliable support group that stands by them through thick and thin. Even if your husband or wife was a part of that support group, they shouldn’t be the only ones. You should have plenty of family and friends to turn to when needed.
This support group is very important to
working through the many emotional stages of divorce. They help remind you that
there’s so much more to live for and achieve in this life. They give you the
motivation you need to work on yourself and one day make it through this
difficult time.
5. Seek Help From a Mental Health Professional
In the event your mental health is really suffering and you’re having a hard time coping with the many changes in your life, don’t forget there’s professional help out there ready to give you the guidance and direction you need. Mental health professionals are trained for these life events.
Although it might not be the most attractive type of help, seeking therapy from a mental health professional can do so much good for your future. If you’re interested in being matched with a therapist that has experience with people in similar situations as you, contact BetterHelp today.
This article was written as part of a series of collaboration with BetterHelp, an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to mental health services. With Covid19 on the rise and the impact on family, we feel that the need to create awareness on Mental Health is important to the community. Do share this post with your love ones.
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