7 Topics That Are Best to Avoid During Your First Date

A recent survey by Singapore’s National Population and Talent Division (NPTD) found that close to 70 percent of single people in the city-state enjoy dating,

but need more dating opportunities as well as the time and energy to meet new people. Do you count yourself among the 70 percent? If so, perhaps you can afford to be more intentional in your dating approach, for example by seeking the services of a reputable dating agency with experience in matchmaking in Singapore.

But once you secure a date, either through a dating service or by other means, it is up to you to create a pleasant first impression and to charm your companion. You should aim to keep a conversation going, impress your date in a way that’s most natural to you, and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. To do so, you should smile often, be polite, and listen to them attentively. In addition, it’s good to avoid bringing up controversial topics that could potentially ruin your chances of getting another date. Here are some examples of topics that are best avoided during a first date:

Your Past Relationships

Unless the other person has asked you, it is highly inappropriate to talk about your ex or exes with a potential partner on your first date. Besides giving the impression that you are merely dating on the rebound, broaching the topic of past relationships can also make you appear bitter and resentful. Keep your focus on the person you’re with and leave any trace of your exes behind.

Your Medical History

You don’t have to shy away from the topic of health conditions if you and your date are willing to talk about it, but it’s generally not advisable to talk about any medical procedures or surgeries you’ve gone through in too much detail. To a squeamish date, discussions involving blood, injections, medications, and similar themes can ruin the appetite and make the meeting awkward and uncomfortable.

In the near future, you may end up needing to talk about any life-altering illness or chronic condition you may have for the sake of transparency. But it’s best to bring these topics up after a couple of dates, or when you and your date have figured out that you want to get serious.

Complaints about Your Boss or Your Life in General

Your date expects to have a pleasant time with you, so take note that any untimely negativity could bore them or ruin the mood. Try to avoid complaining about your boss, your work, or every little thing that is wrong with your life while you’re supposed to be relaxing and doing something fun with your date. If these topics come up, consider playing them off with humour and candour, and avoid oversharing.

To create a pleasing first impression, keep the conversation light and cheerful. An optimistic attitude will be more attractive to your date, and your warm and happy energy may make you a good prospect for future dates.

Your Dating Flaws

Sharing how bad you are when it comes to romantic relationships with someone you’re on a date with is akin to an author telling their readers how awful their book is before its actual release. To your date, a discussion of your dating flaws may not signal honesty or humility on your part. On the contrary, they may end up thinking that you’re insecure and that you have low self-esteem.

To keep a potential partner interested in you, avoid discussing your failings and weaknesses just for the sake of evoking sympathy. Instead, show the best version of yourself to people you meet on dates and let them get to know you through your best qualities.

Your Achievements, Skills, and Strengths

While it’s understandable to want to impress a date and leave them with a favourable image of you, bragging about your achievements can have the opposite effect. One study published in the Psychological Science journal found that those who promote themselves when trying to make a favourable impression on others are often seen by their targets as arrogant and unlikable.

Rather than constantly talking yourself up, try to take more interest in the other person and shine a good part of the conversation on them. That way, you can build a connection and appear more considerate and down-to-earth.

Money

Money matters are a sensitive issue even for married couples, so it is prudent to avoid this topic on your first date. Perhaps the best time to talk about finances is when you are both ready to make a permanent commitment and build a life together. If you insist on discussing salaries and bank accounts, you may come off as overly materialistic and tactless—which is a sure turn-off during a first date.

Your Marriage Plans

Not all romantic dates and relationships result in marriage, and only one of the dates you go on could end up being a life-changing commitment. Marriage is a topic that you should never discuss lightly, let alone on a first date.

Avoid making your date uncomfortable with talk of wedding venues, guests, and invitations right after you’ve met them for the first time. It’s safer to stick to neutral topics, like hobbies, bucket list items, and interests, to know the other person better. Reserve any talk of marriage for the person you will choose to spend the rest of your life with.

First dates are crucial when it comes to testing the waters, or getting to know the other person and assessing whether you have enough common ground to move forward with each other. When you’re on a first date, showcase the best of yourself and make the atmosphere pleasant for your companion. Do this by keeping the topics light and friendly, reserving sensitive subjects for later, and focusing on having an all-around good time. Remember, in love, as in life, timing is everything.